Life on my own

I haven't updated this page in a little while, which is actually a good thing, because it means that not a lot has happened lately.  As I mentioned in earlier posts, my mom helped watch the kids for the first three weeks after surgery and then my sista wife Karen stayed with us for the next three weeks.  Therefore, I have been on my own, so to speak, for two weeks now and things are going pretty well.  We are slowly but surely getting back into our routines as far as meals, naps, outings, etc are concerned.  The kids are not so quick to remember that when I say "no" I really mean it and that they cannot terrorize each other at all times.  But we are getting there.  I have gotten back into my own regularities of early rising with Oliver, drinking quite a bit of coffee, balancing both boys with preparing meals, exercising, showering, household chores, errands and so forth.  It definitely hasn't been easy but I have enjoyed regaining control of my life.  

I am pretty much feeling better everyday.  I still have moments of sadness at the realization of my new body or how much things have changed with the boys since before surgery.  I do also still have days when I cry a lot, but not because of the uncertainties surrounding my family's future, but more because of how lucky I feel.  We have had so much wonderful help from family and friends and were very well taken care of directly following the surgery.  Not to mention I get to skirt breast cancer, hopefully forever.  

I had my surgery on March 8th, which was almost exactly two months ago.  It is hard to believe that much time has passed.  In some ways it feels like surgery was just yesterday but in other ways we have been through so much since then that it is difficult to remember many of the details.  I have had five fills in my expanders thus far and am pretty sure I am finished.  When I woke up after the mastectomy, my expanders were in place with 200cc on each side.  I felt like I should be modeling the Mary Kate and Ashley preteen line.  Now I feel adequately pumped up and ready for my exchange surgery that is scheduled for June 10th.  The exchange surgery is when I will have these rock hard, plastic masses pulled from my original incisions and replaced with beautiful, smushy, "permanent" implants.  I CANNOT WAIT!  I know having surgery again will not be so pleasant but the recovery for this one is supposed to be "a breeze compared to what I've been through," according to my plastic/reconstructive surgeon.  We will soon find out.  

In the meantime I have so much to look forward to.  The weekend before my exchange I have my little sister's bachelorette party in Charleston, SC and the weekend directly following, I have my cousin Joey's wedding.  Later this summer we are going to the Outer Banks for a week with my family, our friends Laura and Matt are getting married, my sister is getting married in Colorado and we are heading back to the Outer Banks with Dave's family in September.  Between all the excitement I hope to spend a lot of quality time catching up with all of my boys to make up for the time that was lost while I was somewhat debilitated.  Fingers crossed for a smooth and speedy recovery in June.  

For now, a proud selfie of the chest before my last fill (bring on Charleston!):